Subject: THE YIDDISH PARROT
 
         Meyer, a lonely widower, was walking home along Delancy Street one 
 day, wishing something wonderful would happen to his life, when he passed a 
 Pet store and heard a squawking voice shouting out in Yiddish:
 
         "Quawwwwk...vus macht du...yeah, you...outside, standing like a 
 schmuck...eh?"
 
         Meyer rubbed his eyes and ears.  He couldn't believe it!
 The proprietor sprang out of the door and grabbed Meyer by the sleeve.  
 "Come in here, fella, and check out this parrot..."
 
 Meyer stood in front of an African Grey that cocked his
 little head and said:  "Vus?  Kenst reddin Yiddish?"
 
 Meyer turned excitedly to the store owner.  "He speaks
 Yiddish?"
 
         "What did you expect?  Chinese maybe?"
 
         In a matter of moments Meyer had placed five hundred dollars down 
 on the counter and carried the parrot in his cage away with him.  All night 
 long he talked with the parrot...in Yiddish.  He told the parrot about his 
 father's adventures coming to America;  About how beautiful his mother was 
 when she was a
 young bride;  About his family;  About his years of working in the garment 
 industry;  and about sunny Florida.
 
 The parrot listened and commented while sharing some
 walnuts.  The parrot told him of living in the pet store and how he hated 
 the weekends.  They both went to sleep.
 
         Next morning, Meyer began saying his prayers.  The parrot demanded 
 to know what he was doing and when Meyer explained, the parrot wanted to 
 pray too.  Meyer hand-made a miniature yamulke for the parrot.  The parrot 
 wanted to learn to read Hebrew so Meyer spent months, sitting and teaching 
 the parrot, teaching him Torah.  Before long Meyer came to love and count 
 on the parrot as a friend and a Jew.  He was lonely no more.
 
 On Rosh Hashona, Meyer rose, got dressed, and was about to leave when the 
 parrot demanded to go with him.  Meyer explained that a synagogue was not a 
 place for a bird, but the parrot pleaded and was carried to the synagogue 
 on Meyer's shoulder.
 Needless to say, they were quite a spectacle.  Meyer was
 questioned by everyone, including the Rabbi.  At first, the Rabbi refused 
 to allow a bird into the building on the High Holy Days, but Meyer 
 convinced him to let him in this one time, swearing that parrot could pray. 
  Wagers were made with Meyer.  Thousands of dollars were bet...even 
 odds...that the parrot could NOT pray, could not speak Yiddish, or Hebrew, 
 etc.
 All eyes were on the two of them during services.  The
 parrot was still perched on Meyer's shoulder as one prayer and song 
 passed...but not a peep from the bird.  Meyer become annoyed, slapping at 
 his shoulder and mumbling under his breath, "Pray!"
 
 The parrot said nothing.
 "Pray, parrot!  You can pray...do it now while everybody's
 looking at you!"
         The parrot said nothing.
 After services were over, Meyer realized he owed his
 synagogue buddies and the Rabbi over four thousand dollars.  He marched 
 home...very disgusted, saying nothing.  Finally several blocks from the 
 temple the bird began to sing an old Yiddish song and was happy as a lark.  
 Meyer stopped and looked at him.
 
 "You miserable bird...you cost me over four thousand
 dollars.  Why?  After I taught you the morning prayers, taught you to read 
 Hebrew and the Torah.  And after you begged me to bring you to a synagogue 
 on Rosh Hashona...why?  Why did you do this to me?"
 
 "Don't be a schmuck," the parrot replied.  "Think of the
 odds on Yom Kippur!"